Grandma Thelma

"In my Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there you may be also." - John 14:2-3

My paternal grandmother passed away last Wednesday, July 2, 2008. Her name was Thelma McCann Hyler. She was born March 13, 1926. Our family drove to Virginia to attend her visitation and funeral this weekend. I am very saddened by her passing but at the same time comforted by the thought that she is experiencing peace and has met Jesus. I am not exactly sure of my grandmother's salvation as we never really had any discussion on faith or the Lord. I had been praying that she would get to know Christ and I have been told she did so I am believing that I will see her again one day in heaven.

I have many happy memories of Grandma Thelma from my childhood. Many experiences stand out in my mind. There were MANY shopping excursions to Belk and Value City. That lady loved to shop! We would wake up at the crack of dawn to be at the door when the store opened. I would convince her that I needed just one more shirt or one more pair of shoes and she would not so reluctantly give in and make me promise not to tell Papa how much she charged on her credit card. He always knew though... We would go home and try on clothes and sometimes have to make returns. Again, next morning up at sunrise. The sales clerks knew us by name. I spent many summers up at my grandparent's home after we moved to Georgia because I loved it so. I remember one long trip, when I was 8 or so, where I displayed all of my shoes - one white dress pair stands out in my mind - in the back window of the Buick and practiced my entrepreneurial skills going down 85S. She humored me with purchases and returns.

Then, there was cooking. I remember making homemade biscuits with her. Flour was everywhere and we cut the biscuit dough with the rim of a glass. I also have a memory of finding joy out of popping open Pillsbury canned biscuits.. not sure when the homemade biscuits ended. Country breakfasts were a specialty. Fried eggs over easy, sausage, biscuits (maybe homemade..maybe not!), country ham and red eye gravy! And, there was the chocolate cake. She taught me how to make homemade chocolate icing from cocoa. We would cut the hot yellow cake and then drizzle the icing in the cracks and all over. It would ooze down into the center of the warm cake. Yum. I can almost taste it now.

She loved to hum. Oftentimes she would let me sit up front with my Papa and she would sit in the back seat and hum a tune. She always said she would be back in a "jiffy". What exactly is a jiffy? And we all wore britches. And she spanked us with switches... that we found ourselves in the front yard! It never hurt.. she chased us (literally) around the house swatting us with these little itty bitty twigs that Emily could probably snap in two. Really, what was she thinking sending the culprits on a hunt for the object of their demise?

I have many Christmas memories with both of my grandparents. For a long time it was the tradition to have Oyster Stew for dinner at their home on Christmas Eve. When we lived right behind them in Danville we would wake up Christmas morning at our home and do the Santa thing and open gifts then we would hike up through the path my Mom made in the woods to our grandparent's home for Christmas #2. Santa thought he needed to make a visit there, as well. They have an awesome paved driveway with two entrances where we loved to ride our new bicycles and battery powered Power Wheels. Matthew, pretending he was Luke Skywalker with his light saber, would sword fight the oak tree stumps in their front yard. As day turned to evening, we would catch lightening bugs and play hide-n-go seek. She would sit out on their patio and watch us play for hours.

I really could go on and on with the memories. She loved to watch me dance. Crystal and I, decked out in our side pony tails and Punky Brewster high tops with alternating colored scrunchie socks, would choreograph 80s dance moves to artists like Madonna, Sheena Easton and Cydni Lauper and perform in front of Grandma for hours on end. With lots of applause and admiration, she encouraged us to try out for Star Search. They took us to Busch Gardens in Williamsburg, Virginia. We visited south Florida when they were looking into a timeshare in Fort Myers Beach. I remember being around 5 at the beach with her and standing in the surf as the wave washed over our feet and looking down as we pretended we were moving instead of the water moving around us. I think about that every time I am at the shore. Many fond memories of my Grandma. There were many days when I cried and she comforted. She was a great Grandma.

Grandma Thelma had been sick for a long time. She was quite healthy until about 10 years ago when she began to exhibit the first signs of Alzheimer's Disease. It has been hard to see her slowly breakdown mentally... difficult to sense her frustration and fear of realizing that she had problems remembering. I could tell it frustrated her to lose her independence and probably even angered her at times but she knew she couldn't be left alone which resulted in many frightening moments for her. We lived far away and saw them infrequently as the years passed but from what I understand, she became very fearful of where her husband was... not wanting to leave his side and if she ever found herself without him would be frantic to find her support line - her life line. I always wondered how my Papa handled the huge responsibility and, as much as I hate to say it, burden, of caring for her. Day in and day out of answering the same questions over and over and over again. Never having a moment of alone time. I worried that it would simply wear him down. Why didn't he hire professional help to come in and care for her? I asked myself that many times. This weekend at her funeral was the first time I saw my Papa cry. There was an overflow of love streaming out of my Papa's eyes. He loved her. Not just love the feeling but love the action. There was never an abundance of affection in their home. From what I understand from before my lifetime and from some of my memory and experience, there were hard times and even tragic moments. But there was true love between my Grandma and Papa. In their own way they loved each other. My Papa displayed that love by taking care of his bride until the very end. The last time I saw her alive was in the hospital a few weeks ago. I spied my Papa wink at her and blow her a kiss from across the room. They kept their wedding vows to have and to hold each other for richer and for poorer, sadness and joy, in sickness and in health as long as they both shall live.

"Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." - John 14:27